The Pilgrim’s Hospice in Ashford is one of those quietly important institutions that we are lucky to have in the town. I have been in touch with them recently to support them over the pressures they are facing because of energy costs, so it was timely to make a visit.
As ever I came away hugely impressed by the dedication of the staff and the air of calm cheerfulness that they create, even in the most difficult and delicate of circumstances.
Though, having said that, I found one of the most interesting points made to me was that we should stop treating death as the last great taboo. We still laugh at the Victorians for being unable to talk about sex, but we are equally horrified at discussing death, which is an even more universal phenomenon.
In practical terms we all want our loved ones to have the most comfortable approach to their last days, but we too often deny them the chance because we simply don’t want to talk about it. Of course it is a terrible thing to contemplate, but death is going to happen to all of us, so as adults we should be sensible in planning for it.
Many of us are familiar with the Birth Plans that expectant mothers make in advance of that equally monumental event. Why do we not encourage people to make Death Plans so that they can have exactly what they want in their final months and days?
Even writing this I can feel people saying that this is all a bit morbid, and why should we need to think about it, but I am inspired by the great work they do at the Pilgrim’s Hospice and other similar organisations. They show that dignity and respect can be maintained right up to the end, and that this makes an enormous difference to families who then have to face the grieving process.